Always Been Worth It
by BillionDollarBitch
Summary: John secretly likes his best friend Randy, and he doesn't do a great job at hiding it, no matter how hard he tries. Randy freaks when he finds out and confronts John. But suddenly Randy realizes he might like John too. WARNING: Slash, Centon sex.


**Title: **Always Been Worth It.

**Rating: **_M_ for Mature.**  
**  
**Pairing: **Centon; Orton/Cena.

**Warnings: **Gay sex, cursing.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anyone in this story!

**A/N:** I wrote this story before the recent John & Liz Cena news broke, so no this is not based off that news. However, I wish him all the best with that.

* * *

**Always Been Worth It:  
**

**KNOCK KNOCK!**

I opened the door to see my best friend John Cena with a bright smile on his face; dimples and all.

I want to knock the smile off his face. I'm not in the mood.

"What the hell do you want?" I growl, visibly upset, but that doesn't kill his joy. "Came to hang out, buddy!" He replies as he pushes his way into my locker room.

The show has ended so that must mean that he's run everyone else off with his happiness and I'm his last resort. He knows I can never get rid him.

"Go away." I groan, not trying to sit up and look at his stupid face for the next however long it takes me to get ready. "Aww, you don't really mean that! You love me!" I roll my eyes, "Only sometimes, Cena, only sometimes." I mumble and walk back over to my bag that I'd gotten interrupted trying to unzip. I pulled out my change of clothes, towel and washcloth, and my shower gel and deodorant. "Still haven't taken a shower yet?" He asks and I stare at him as if he's an idiot. "Nah, I took a shower and decided to put my trunks back on. No, you dumbass!" I spat and he sighs, "Yeah, I guess that _was_ a dumb question. I was just trying to make conversation though, jeez." I soften my face, "Yeah, yeah. I'll be right back." I groan at how his eyes bore holes in me constantly with everything I do.

He's always watching me, like a lost puppy, scared that its master will abandon him.

I walked over to the shower, sat my things down, and stripped to my nudity. Once ready, I step into the shower, but when I turn to close the curtain, I see John still staring after me out of the corner of his eye. I snatch the curtain closed with a force to let him know that I caught him. Right after, I can hear him sigh in embarrassment.

Creep.

The entire time that I was in the shower, he kept trying to talk to me. That's why I didn't want him in my locker room. I wanted to focus on my shower and relaxing my muscles. I wasn't looking forward to hearing his damn mouth.

Once finally done with my shower, I stepped out of the shower and caught John quickly looking away.

I rolled my eyes, dried myself off, and quickly pulled on my blue jean shorts and gray hoodie. "So what were you saying while I was in there?" I decide to at least try and be polite. "Ugh, never mind, you weren't even listening." He groaned in irritation. I just shrug and sit down to pull on my socks and shoes. "So what are you doing after you leave?" I ask, attempting conversation, though irritated with his constant staring. "I don't know. I'll probably rent a movie and ice my leg." He shrugs and I nod. I noticed when I was watching his match that he'd came down on his leg really weird at some point. "That's fair." I reply. "How about you?" He asked and I laced up my shoes as I thought. "Hmm. I'll probably call Sam and see if she's up. Alanna turned in some big project today and called while I was out in the ring. Maybe she's still up and I can congratulate her." John smiled, he loves his Goddaughter to pieces, "You know she's still up! She can't go to sleep without saying goodnight to her Daddy." He leaned forward and slapped at my arm and that gets me to smile, "Yeah. How's yours?" I ask, referring to his step kids from Liz.

"The girls are great. I called them and Liz before the show to congratulate them on their great report cards." He replied. "That's nice. You're doing great at being a Dad, John. I don't think I tell you that enough." He looked up at me and smiled wide, "Thanks, Ran. You're a way better Father than me though. I definitely admire for that." He's so soft. I chuckle and reply, "Thanks, bro." He nods.

"So how's Liz doing with that whole cheating and spending thing?" I ask as I stand. "I don't really know. Not that well. I got my credit card bill earlier this week. It's as high as ever, so she's definitely not cutting back like I told her to. The bill was filled with alcohol and women's clothing, mostly lingerie. As for the cheating, as far as I know, she's stopped. But then again, how would I know. Besides, who's she wearing all this lingerie for, right?" He sighs, now standing next to me, and I threw an arm around his shoulder. "It's going to be okay, man. If she won't change, you know what to do." I said then went back to putting my things inside my bag.

"Yeah, I know. I just wish I didn't end up marrying a fucking whore." I shrug, "You didn't know she was a whore, though, you just thought she was wild. People change though. It's not your fault." I reply sympathetically.

I hate his situation with his wife Elizabeth. I've been trying to convince him to divorce her for the past year or more, but he's too much of a good guy to end it. He's the type of guy who'd rather ignore a problem as if it's not there. I couldn't do that. That's not me. You fuck me over, you get the fuck out.

"Thanks. At least I didn't marry a dumbass like you though." He chuckled and I whip around and look at him with wide eyes. "Excuse me?" I ask, anger rumbling from my throat. "Oh, Ran, come on, you know Sam's an idiot. You say it yourself all the time. I got a whore. You got a retard. It's all good."

I slammed him against the wall, eliciting a groan from him, and put my hand around his neck, squeezing some. I ignore my confusion from the groan and instead explode, "I don't care what I say! She's _my_ wife! I can say all I want about her! _You_, however, don't say shit about my wife anymore, understand?" His eyes start to roll back so I release my grip a bit, but force my body even harder against his in exchange, "Okay, okay! I'm sorry! You called my wife a whore though!" He spat out once he in took a little oxygen.

He's right.

But I'll never admit that.

"I don't care," I growl, "Don't talk about her anymore!" I bark then quickly pull away and let him slide down the wall, trying to catch his breath. I'm not ready to end my yelling at him, but I became aware of his hard-on, hard against my thigh, and decide it isn't worth it. I'm already a bit creeped out by him from earlier, now just isn't the time to be that close to him. I stare at him on the floor for a moment in wonder, but quickly grab my things and leave the locker room to my rental.

* * *

**Later That Night; Randy's Hotel Room:**

He didn't have a hard-on when he came to my locker room. I would have known, he was wearing basketball shorts and I would have seen it!

Why did he have one then?

And why did he keep staring after me, even after I got in the shower?

And oh yeah! What the fuck was up with that groan when my body was against him?

In fact, I can think of almost one million other times that can be questioned from the past.

Am I taking this too far? Or am I taking this too loosely?

My brain is spinning as I sit in my hotel room thinking about everything that had transpired only a few hours earlier. The first thing I did when I got to my hotel room was call Sam. She was already asleep but I made sure to leave her a long message about how I love and miss her. After hanging up, John's words flooded back to me.

_Oh, Ran, come on, you know Sam's an idiot. You say it yourself all the time._

I do say it all the time. I honestly think she's a total fucking idiot, but that's the way I like 'em. I know I do Sam wrong, I'll be the first to admit it. I bad-mouth her, mistreat her, and cheat on her constantly. I know I'm in the wrong, I'll admit that. But that's on _me_. As much as she gets on my nerves, and as much of an idiot that I think she is, I'll be damned if anyone else _dares_ have the audacity to even try to fathom the words to insult my wife! When someone downs her, I bypass the statement being about her, and take it straight to saying that they're in turn talking about me. I don't take to that too kindly either.

But no matter what he said, why'd he react all those ways? Why was he acting like that? FUCK! These thoughts aren't going to leave me alone tonight!

I jump off my bed, pull on some house shoes, and leave my room to the elevator.

Walking around a public hotel in just gym shorts and slippers probably isn't the best idea, but at this point, my mind is so clouded that it's nowhere near working correct.

I take the elevator up to John's floor and stand for a moment debating on if I should even try.

**KNOCK KNOCK! **

The thoughts aren't going away any time soon.

"Ran..." John whispered as he opened the door. "Hey, Johnny, can I come in?" I ask, making my voice as soft and nice as it can be so he doesn't think I came to argue. "Yeah, of course." He opened the door wider and I nod and walked inside. "Ran, I'm so sorry about earli—" John started after shutting the door, but I stopped him, "No, John, it's okay. It really is. I had no right to explode like that! I was just so angry. I did call your wife a whore first and you had every right to voice your opinion on Sam. You're my best friend and I value everything you say, just like you do me. I'm sorry I over-reacted. You were just playing around. Please forgive me, Johnny." He smiled wide, "I forgive you, Ran. I hope you forgive me too. I really am sorry." I flicked my hand, "It's cool." I replied and he nodded and walked back over to his bed.

"Hey, Iron Man just started, want to watch with me, Randy?" I turn to face him but don't say anything. I just stare at the floor as I listen to all the thoughts about earlier, run through my head. "Ran?" He called out and I finally look up at him.

"How long have you liked me?" I spat out and his eyes go wide. "What?" He asks, as if he doesn't know what I'm talking about. "How long have you liked me? Been attracted to me? Whatever it is that you are!" I yell out and his eyes go even wider, "I don't know what you're talking about, Randy!" He yells back but I hear the bullshit in his voice. "Cut the bullshit, John, will ya? We're both adults, we can handle this like adults! I've noticed all the little hints yesterday, the day before, last week, last month, last year! I've noticed them all, just like I noticed today!" I explain. "Ran…" He sighs, looking away from me. "Come on, Cena, spit it out! You stared at my ass when I got in the shower. You watched me shower. You groaned when I touched you and got a hard-on from it all! Just tell me when you started liking me!" I'm getting frustrated with him being so frustrating.

"I, uh…I don't know…" He finally mumbles. "You don't know?" My hands go to my hips and my face shows that I don't buy that the least bit. "I really don't, Ran. I don't know when it started, but…I've been in love with you for the longest."

My eyes go wide and my hands slowly slide off my hips, "In love with?" I ask, barely audible. "Yeah. Sorry." He mumbles. When I decided to come to his room, I figured I'd get an answer like 'oh, a little man crush for awhile', _not_ 'in love with for the longest'! "W-Why didn't you tell me, John?" I ask and he looks at me with wide eyes, "Tell you? Why would I do such a stupid thing like that? What was I supposed to say? Where would that even get me?" He asked and I stared at the floor in thought.

He's right. Where would that have gotten him?

"I-I…Who else in the locker room have you liked?" I ask and he scrunches up his face at me, "Nobody, Randy! I'm not gay or anything!" I foreword my eyebrows in confusion, "So why me?" I ask, a bit honored that I'm the only one he was crushing on.

"Why you? Because I've known you practically all my life! Because you've been there for me through _everything_! You're the only one who _truly_ accepts me for me, and doesn't try to just use me! God, Randy, why you? Because you're so handsome, and you can be the sweetest, nicest, most loving person I've ever seen…when you wanna be! You're so amazing with your little girl and I aspire to be just like you with my stepdaughters and future kids! You love your wife so fucking much, and you'll do anything to protect her name! You make it your duty to protect me with your all, and you do a _damn good_ job at it! And when you can't protect me and I get hurt, you sit right there by me and help me through whatever it is! You can go out in that ring and break a man in half, but when I'm down, you'll hold me so close, and those hands that just hurt that man, become the most gentle and comforting things ever. I get on your very last nerves, I piss you off, and we're complete opposites, but you tell me that you love me no matter what! Because no matter how many issues and anger management problems you have, you have a fucking heart of gold! I don't know, Randy. I have **no** clue how the fuck I fell for you!" He snapped and he poured his entire heart out to me.

I'm on the verge of tearing up. Not even Sam has ever said words like that to me.

"Johnny…" I call out but I'm not sure what to say. "Look, I'm sorry, Randy. I never really meant to be so obvious. I didn't mean to leer and I didn't mean to react. You were _never_ supposed to find out. I'm sorry you did. You don't have to talk to me anymore if you don't work to."

To think so highly of me, he seriously seems to have a thing about thinking I can never act maturely about anything.

"John, stop it. I'm not going to stop talking to you!" I said, walking over to him and pulling him from where he sat in a slump on the bed. "Why not?" He asks. "Johnny, remember when I told you that I don't care what you or I do, how I act towards you, how bad we ever get into it, or whatever goes on between us, that I'll always love you and you'll be my best friend?" I ask and he nods, "Yes, but I doubt you ever thought _this_ would happen." I sigh and shrug a bit, "No, I never thought this would happen, I'll admit that. But like I said, no matter what happens, you'll never have to worry about me hating you, okay? I'll always love you, Johnny. Besides, what would I do without your happy-go-lucky ass always making me smile?" I ask and he smiles a bit, "Thanks, Randy. Thank you for being so understanding." He said. "No problem, man. Now smile! You haven't given me one of your goofy ass smiles in a whole five minutes!" I yell out and he smiles wide as he laughs out, "There's my Johnny!" I yell then pull him in for a hug.

It's going to take some time getting used to, and I'm going to have to start watching what I do around him, but I'm not going to start treating him like a pariah or anything now. I'll just treat him like I always have; I'm going to make sure he knows he hasn't hurt anything between us.

We pulled away and a thought crossed my mind. "So I'm curious. What all came with liking me?" I ask. "What do you mean?" He asks back. "Did you, like, fantasize about me and stuff?" I ask with a chuckle and he blushes heavily. "Uhm, yeah…" I laugh out, "Like what?" I ask. "I don't know...kissing you and stuff." I nod in amusement, "That's grand! John Cena dreaming about kissing me! Who would have ever thought?" I ask and he blushes even more, "Well, I mean, you do have really nice lips." He said as he stares at them and I slow my laughing down some, seriously thinking about the fact that he's currently fantasizing about my lips.

"Hunh. So you really like me, huh? Like, you like me in a sexual way too, right?" I ask and he nods, "Yeah, sorry." He replies and I smack his arm, "Stop apologizing for yourself, John! It's just crazy to think that you think about me in a sexual way. Like, you've had wet dreams about me and everything?" He's back to blushing, "Uhm, yes." I chuckle, "Wow." I reply then notice how he's still staring at my lips.

"Ran?" He calls out. "Yeah, John?" I ask back. "Can I please do something?" He asks and my heart starts racing. "What do you mean?" I ask. "Please just let me do something, okay? One little thing. Don't get creeped out or anything, okay? I just…I just need to do this. It's been driving me crazy for so long." He replies and I'm still not sure what he's talking about, but I'm not really sure if I want to even know. "Uhm, okay. Wait, no. What are you doing? W-Why? Y-you can. But I…I just…uhm. I guess, John." I stumble over my words, scared of what's about to happen to me.

I held my breath and John slowly leaned up and connected his lips to mine. Oh my God, Cena is kissing me. I'm not sure what to do, but I know it doesn't feel half bad. I decide to go with it. I might as well give Cena this one thing. God knows how long he's been beating himself up over this. I slowly put my hands to his waist and kiss him back. He smiled against my lips in response and moved his arms up around my neck.

The longer the kiss lasted, oddly enough, the more I got into it.

I run my tongue across his lips, curious as to what his tongue tastes like. He gladly opens his mouth to deepen the kiss and our tongues tangle together. He moans into the kiss and I slowly move our bodies till his back hits the wall. We pull away for a quick second to grab a breath, and then return our lips to each other. Our tongues immediately go back to war with each other and his arms take a tour of my shoulders, arms, and chest. As we pulled away from the kiss, I sucked his bottom lip into my mouth for a moment.

"Wow." We both say at the same time once we separate. I quickly back away and sit on the bed, my hands to my head, as he stays leaned against the wall, not trusting his legs at the moment. "Ran, I'm sorry. I am. I just had to know how that felt." He tried to help me cope with what just happened. "Stop fucking apologizing, John!" I growl, growing fully irritated with him all over again already. "I…I didn't expect you to kiss back, ya know, Ran. I just wanted a small kiss." He whispered. "I know. I-I know. I just didn't expect it to feel that good. I didn't expect you to taste that good." I mumbled to myself then looked up at him to see him softly smiling at me. I smile back a little bit before returning my head to my hands. John just stood there, reminiscing on our kiss.

I don't know how many minutes passed before he decided to come sit next to me. He pulled my hands from my face and made me look at him, "Hey, I didn't mean to freak you out, okay?" He says and I smile sympathetically. "I'm not freaked out, John, I promise." He nods, "That's fair. So then what's up? What are you feeling? Talk to me, Ran." He said and I sigh a bit. "I don't know, I'm just trying to get my feelings in order. I really didn't expect that kiss to be so good." I chuckle a bit as I stared at his face and he smiles back, "Okay, well then you can kiss me all you want. How about that?" I wrapped a hand around the nape of his neck as I laugh a little, "You'd like that wouldn't you?" He blushes, "Yeah, I would. But, that's just dream world, I know. Don't worry." He sighs a bit and I lean in and kiss him again before pulling my hand away and going back to thinking to myself, wondering why I did that.

I know that was just leading him on and I shouldn't have done that. I just couldn't help it. He tastes so good. Why does he have to taste so good? Why does his lips have to be so soft?

"Dream world?" I ask and he nods. "Yeah, dream world, so it's okay."

I sighed and took a leap of faith.

"John, lay down." I said and he looks at me wide eyes. "What?" He asks, seriously confused. "Lay back against the pillows, okay?" I try to put the same soft, sweet voice I had on earlier back on. He slowly nods and leans back till he's lying on the pillows. I watch his body for a moment. His whole body seems to be tinted red to add to his heavy blushing and his breathing is uneven. He twitches a bit and his eyes go wide, anxious about what's actually about to take place.

I take a deep breath and give into what my body is screaming for.

I turn and climb up the bed till I'm over his body. "Ran?" He calls out and I smile, "Shh, Johnny." I whisper then lean down and kiss him again. He quickly throws his arms up to wrap around my neck and I rest on my forearms as I hold his face while kissing him. Again my tongue trails his lips, practically begging for entry. I don't have to wait long. His lips part and I quickly dip in and frantically tangle with his.

We kissed for so long. I made sure I memorized every single inch of his mouth before deciding to pull away. When I did, I decided that I wasn't done.

If his kiss is that delicious, I can only imagine what his body tastes like.

I quickly kiss down to his neck before licking up and down his neck. His hands grab my shoulders and I kiss and suck my way over his neck. "Ran." He whimpers and moans, and every time he does, it all goes straight to my dick. I keep going back and forth between his neck and his lips, the taste driving me wild, driving me insane.

I don't know how long we laid up like that, just kissing and our hands roaming, but to be honest, I could have stayed like that forever.

During our make-out fest, my hand trailed even further south and found the bulge that's hard in John's pants. The feeling scares me and I pull from his body. "Ran?" He calls out. "I'm sorry." I say. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" He asks, sitting up and I quickly climb off the bed. "I'm sorry, John, I can't do this. This is too much for me. I'm sorry. I gotta go. I'm so sorry, John." I quickly ran out of the hotel room and went back to mine.

How the fuck did all that even happen? I just had, like a 20-minute make-out session with my best friend. I just almost had sex with my best friend.

I just almost had sex with John!

* * *

**Two Days Later; At The Arena:**

"Come in!" I yelled as I heard someone knock on my locker room door as I pulled on my tennis shoes. "Hey." John said as he poked his head inside. "Hey! Hey, John. You can come in." I said and he nodded and walked in, but stood right at the door. "Uhm, are we okay?" He asked.

After going back to my room the other night, I shut off my phone so he couldn't call me. Tuesday I caught a ride to the airport with Cody so I didn't have to face Cena. Today I spent all my time before the show just locked in my locker room.

I didn't know how to face John. I didn't even know how to face myself.

Now that the time has come where I finally have to face him, I decide to just play everything cool. "Yeah, we're okay. No worries, bro." I nod and he smiles. "Cool. Some of the guys and I are going out for wings. Want to come?" He asks. "Uh, no thanks. I promised Alanna I'd read her a bedtime story tonight. But I'll definitely buy us all a round tomorrow." I reply. "Cool, I'm going to hold you to it." I chuckle, "Feel free. Hey, what should I read to her?" I ask and he smiles wide, "Her favorite story for Uncle John to read to her: Goodnight, Gorilla." I chuckle some more, "Good choice. I'll catch ya later, man." He nods, "Ok, see ya, dude." He turned and left.

See, that wasn't hard. I almost totally forgot the fact that my tongue was down his throat just 48 hours ago.

Fuck.

* * *

**Later That Night; Randy's Hotel Room:**

"John, hey." I answered my hotel room door a few hours later to see John standing there. "Hey, I brought you some wings. I noticed you didn't eat catering before the show." I smile and take the bag, "Hey, thanks." I walk over to the desk and sit them down. "They're hot wings, your favorite." He said as he closes the door after coming in. "Thanks, you're the best." I said and he chuckles, "No problem."

He sat on the edge of the bed and I returned to where I sat against the headboard. "So what're you doing?" He asks and I nod my head at the TV, "I'm watching this movie." I reply. "Why? It's in French." He points out. "I know. I'm trying to understand what they're saying and what's going on. I suck though." He laughs, "Change the channel then, dude." I sigh, "That's why I'm watching this. I lost the damn remote." He laughs but doesn't reply.

We both just sit in silence for a few minutes, watching the film on the TV. "Uh, Randy?" He suddenly calls out, not taking his eyes off the screen. "Yeah?" I reply, choosing to speak in a tone that says I'm zoned out so that hopefully he won't try to talk about anything important. "Can we talk?" He asks and I cringe on the inside.

This is the last thing I wanted to happen.

"Sure, 'bout what?" I ask. "About the other night." He mumbles and I sigh a bit. "Yeah, Johnny, we can. Come here." I said and he turns to where I sit with my arms spread.

He crawled across the bed and took a seat next to me, in my arms, resting his head on my chest. I lean down and subconsciously kiss the top of his head. I can smell his signature scent deep in my nostrils.

"What happened the other night, Ran? Why'd you kiss me all those times?" He asks and I squeeze him a bit, "I already told you that. You have nice lips. You have a great kiss. I like kissing you." I admit, not only to him but to myself as well. "You do?" He looks up at me. "I do." I reply then lean down and peck his lips to prove it to him. "So why'd you run out on me, Randy? We didn't have to go any further than kissing, y'know? I wasn't expecting anything from you when I told you. We didn't even have to do anything at all. Why'd you run?" He asks and I sigh, trying to think of the right words. "I don't know, Johnny. I guess it was just me being scared. I was really terrified. I couldn't understand why I liked kissing you so much and why I didn't want to stop. When I felt you, uhm, ya know, down there," He nods, understanding what I mean, "I don't know, Johnny. It just all became real to me. It just really scared me." He nods, "I understand. Ya know, Ran, I was scared when I first started liking you. I was terrified." He admits. "What'd you do to stop the scared feelings?" I ask, desperate for advice. "I stopped listening to my head and started listening to my heart. Yeah, I had to deal with not being able to have you, but that was beyond my control. I was finally able to say and admit to myself that I liked you. I felt a lot better." He explained.

I nod and put a finger under his chin to tip his face so I can kiss him. He leans up into the kiss and I quickly slide my tongue inside. He moans into the kiss and I run my hand under his shirt to feel his body. Once pulling away, he quickly returns his head to my chest.

"Things were _so_ different just a few days ago." I mumble. "I know. They can go back to being that way if you want, Randy." He mentions and I nod a bit, "But what if I don't want it to?" I whisper. "Do you?" He asks without looking at me, no pushiness in his tone. "I don't know." I mumble.

"Randy?" I can tell by the new tone that whatever he's about to say is going to hurt either him or I. "Mhm." I acknowledge his talking, afraid of what's about to be said. "I can't do this. I can't just be here for you to kiss whenever you want. I either want all of you or none of you. I don't want to sound selfish, but, I can't handle only being able to kiss you when you're on one end of your feelings."

His words quickly sunk into my head and I held him tighter, "And that's fair, John. I'm sorry if I made you feel like I'm just using you or anything." He shakes his head, "It's okay. Can you tell me what's on your mind?" He asks and I sigh, trying to figure out just what exactly is on my mind. "I don't know, Johnny, I hate this. I'm so fucking confused. I don't know anything anymore." He nods, "I'm sure. Now tell me what your _heart_ is telling you." He looks up at me, and at his words I quickly look down at him, "To explore this." I brush my lips over his, wary of what he said earlier about not wanting to just be there to kiss. "And what do you mean by 'this'? He asks and I groan a bit.

I know he's just trying to help me figure things out, but I don't want to go through interrogation. I just want to feel his lips against mine again.

"This. This is…this is what I want to explore. I want to explore yours lips," I trace a finger across his lips," your body," I trail a finger down his chest, "all of it," I add, trailing my finger to his pants, "the sounds that you'll make," I drag my finger back up to his lips, "and the things you can do," I move to his hands, "and everything else. I don't want to just explore 'this' physically, but emotionally as well." I trail my finger to his chest and lay it right over his heart, "I want to explore what it is you dreamt about when you dreamt about what could go on between us. I just…I want to explore it all." I finally end and he leans up and caresses my face, "Mhm." He simply says.

"I'm just scared, John." I add. "I'm sure. But it's okay to be scared, Ran. It's natural." He explains and I smile at how he isn't trying to force me into doing anything with him.

In fact, he isn't even pushing me to make a decision at all right now.

"Can I kiss you again, please?"

It feels weird to have to ask to kiss someone, John especially, but then again, everything I'm feeling right now is weird.

"It depends on what comes with this kiss." He said and I breathe deeply as I shut my eyes. I took a leap before and I figure I can take one now. When I open my eyes, John is staring at my face, searching. "What comes with the kiss—" I tried to explain but he cuts me off, "You don't have to make a decision on us right now, Ran." I smile and put a finger to his lips, "I'm not doing anything I don't want to. What comes with the kiss," I start again before stopping and taking another deep breath, "is me making love to you."

A soft smile appears but he doesn't show too much emotion on his face, "Making love to me?" He asks, unsure. "Yes. Me making love to you. I will take you however you want me to, however you dreamed of." The smile got slightly wider, "How I dreamed of…" He chuckles to himself as he looks off into the distance. "Yes. I mean, _I_ was the one taking _you_ in your dreams, right?" I ask, the fear crawling back.

I'm willing to test the waters, but I'm not ready to let him test _my_ waters!

"Yes, Ran, every single time." He whispers and I smile before leaning down and kissing him.

I eased my body out from around him as I laid his body down. Once laid out, I climbed back on top of him and deepened the kiss. "Mm, Ran." He moaned out and I pulled from his lips and kissed down to his neck. "Fuck, Ran." He groaned as he leaned up and grinded against my groin. "Shit, Johnny."

The feeling of his cock against mine is incredible.

I leaned closer and grinded with him. "Take off your shirt, John." I whispered and he quickly yanked it from his body, not wanting to give me not one second to back out. I pulled off my beater in time with him then went back to kissing along his neck. I kissed from his neck down to his chest and licked around his nipples, hardening them. He groaned out and softly ran his nails down my back. I kissed down his body to the line of his shorts then kissed back up to his lips.

"You doing okay?" He asked and I nodded and kissed down his face, "I'm alright. You okay?" I know this is new to him too. "Yeah." He replied then leaned up and kissed me.

As we kissed, his hands roamed to my briefs and began yanking at them. I leaned up and allowed him to pull them off and he gasped a bit when he finally saw it. "You like?" I ask and he nods, "Yeah, definitely." He says, not taking his eyes off of it.

I leaned off of him and laid back and he slowly came over and kneeled above it. "Can I?" He asks, his hand trailing over my thigh. "Do whatever you want, Johnny." I reply and he leaned down as he took my cock into his hand and slowly licked around the tip. I hissed in pleasure. He licked and kissed around the tip for a few seconds before leaning down and taking me all the way in his mouth. I quickly grab at his short hair as I groan out. "Shit, John, you ever done this before?" I ask, amazed at the pleasure I'm feeling and he hummed a no as he bobbed on my dick. Before I knew it, he had the head of my cock at the back of his throat and I was unloading into his willing mouth. He pulled away, swallowed, and I quickly pulled him up to me and kissed him.

After tasting him thoroughly, I laid him back down and quickly pulled his shorts off.

"Mind if I pass on doing that this time?" I ask, referring to my fear of having a mouth full of cock. He chuckles, "I don't care, Ran, just hurry up and get inside me." He replies and I laugh, "Alright. Uhm, I don't have any lube or nothing." I shrug and he points to his shorts on the floor, "The pocket on the right." I nod and grab the lube from his pants, then get back in front of him. "Spread your legs and bend your knees, Johnny." I instruct and he does as he's told.

"Are you sure you want to do this, John? I mean, you really want something…in your ass?" I ask, still not fully comprehending how a man could want something inside him, and another man at that. "_You_, yes." He answers and I blush a bit. "Are you sure though, John?" I ask again, a bit scared to be…inside him. "Randy, I've had _so_ long to contemplate on this. I've never been surer of anything in my life. Please, Ran, I need you." He pleads and I lean down and kiss him so I don't have to see the pain on his face anymore, "Alright, fine." I say after pulling away.

I popped the cap on the lube and poured some over my index finger. "Ready?" I ask and he bites his lip and nods. I tossed the bottle to the side and trailed my finger over his hole for a moment, feeling the muscles contract against my touch. I take my time enjoying the feeling of my finger playing around his hole before slowly slipping the tip of my finger inside. John's breath hitched, but there's no pain on his face and no recoil. I smile at his bravery and slowly push my finger inside even more. The muscles are tight against my finger and I can't really comprehend how I'll be able to fit my dick inside of him if my finger is already having such a hard time. I slid my finger inside, to the second knuckle, and began caressing his walls, trying to find that bundle of nerves I've heard about. Once seeing that he's okay with how everything was feeling, I exited and re-entered, this time with two fingers. He moaned a bit and I pushed in as much as possible. I used my fingers to scissor his hole, stretching him and preparing him for what's to come and suddenly I found his sweet bundle. "Oh God, Ran!" John's back arched off the bed and I smiled at his reaction. I bent my fingers again and brushed against his sensitive senses, eliciting more moans and groans from him. "I'm ready, Ran, I'm ready! Now. Now!" John yelled out and I quickly pulled my fingers out and prepared my cock.

Once it was dripping in lube, I poured some lube down his crack before positioning myself at his hole. I grabbed on his length and began stroking it as I slowly pushed inside him. "Fuck, John!" I immediately yell out, feeling his heat engulf the head of my cock. I looked at his face and saw he had his eyes squeezed shut as he bit down on his lip. I eased in more and more till I was fully inside him. I smiled at the way he's taking this pain so easily. He's always been one to just work through any pain. "You doing okay?" I ask him and his eyes open, "Yeah, Ran, it feels good." He smiled back and bucked his body towards me a bit. I pulled almost all the way out of him before pushing all the way back inside him, this time with a bit more force. "Fuck, Randy, yess!" John groaned out.

Well, there's no pain, so _my_ gain. I don't have to do all that waiting shit!

I began thrusting into him at a steady pace as he moaned out my name in the form of a mantra. "Yeah, Johnny, scream my fuckin' name." I grunted. His moans are steady turning me on even more. I angled myself and slammed into his spot and he belted out a scream of pleasure. "You like that, Johnny?" I ask, wanting to verbally hear how much he likes it. "Yes, Ran, fuck! Please don't stop! Fuck me!"

All these dirty things start spilling from his mouth as I continuously pound his spot. I'm amazed. John's always been a relatively calm person with a clean mouth. He hates people with filthy mouths and is always verbally expressing his distaste for my using foul language in everyday typical conversation. But now, here, as I'm deep inside his heat, he's letting every dirty mannerism drip off his lips. It only makes me pound him harder and his face eagerly shows how much he's enjoying it.

"Ran, wait, Ran." John grabs at my arm and puts his other hand to my chest to stop me. "What's wrong?" I ask. "Lay down, Ran." He says. "What? John, I-I don't w-want to be on the o-other end." I say, scared of having anything inside me. "I never said I was going to do anything to you, Randy. Just lay down." He pushes against my chest and I oblige, pulling out of him and laying down.

John quickly got up and straddled my waist, easing himself down onto my length. "Shit, Johnny." I moaned out, feeling his constriction at an all-new level. He balanced himself by laying his hands on my pectoral muscles and raised up before easing himself back down. I held his waist and helped him catch his rhythm. "Fuck, Randy, this feels so good!" He groaned out as he found the angle to hit that bundle of nerves. "This everything you always dreamed about, Johnny?" I ask, hoping I'm living up to his standards. "God, fuck, Ran. This is soo much better! Fuck!" He groaned out and I smiled wide.

_Better_.

I leaned against my back and shoulders and began lifting my lower half to meet his body. As I did, I grabbed onto his length and began stroking in time with his thrusts. I want him to come before me; I want to feel his tightness get even tighter around my cock. Mere seconds after beginning to stroke him, his grunts and groans got louder and un-even. I squeezed tighter around his cock and I was rewarded with his load being shot into my hand and over my arm. His muscles tightened around me and I yelled out his name as I busted inside him. I thrust inside him a few more times till I'm no longer hard.

John collapsed against my chest and I wiped my hand and arm on the blankets before wrapping my arms tightly around his body and holding him close. "I love you Johnny, damn that was amazing." I purred into his ear as I feel his heartbeat, still beating quickly, against my chest. "I love you too, Ran. Thank you for that." He mumbles back and I pull back some to look at him. "John, you don't have to thank me. It's not like I was doing it for you or anything. It wasn't a present or anything. I actually _wanted_ to do that. I wanted to be with you, John. I _want_ to be with you!" I explain and he blushes and bites his lip, "But you weren't even like this a few days ago." He doesn't understand and I look for the words to explain to him just how I feel. "I know I wasn't John, but now it's today and tomorrow is tomorrow. It doesn't matter about the past. All I care about is my future, and my future with you. It only takes a second to fall in love, John, and I fell in love with you the minute you told me how you feel and the second you kissed me. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, okay?" John's smile splits his face in half, "You really want to be with me, Ran?" He asks. "John, I've already been spending my life with you. Now it's just going to be in a more intimate way. Yes, I really want to spend the rest of my life with you." I answer.

"What about Sam and Liz?" He asks and I sigh a bit, "Well, I don't know. We can leave them clueless and be together behind their backs, or you can do what I've been telling you to do for I don't know how long and finally divorce Liz. I'll do the same." I explain. "Don't you think that'll get people a little curious? It's not that I'm ashamed of us or anything, but I don't think we should be a public couple or anything." He mumbles, scared of my reaction. I just smile and caress his face, "I agree, John. We should just keep this between us. We have plenty of time in the far future to tell people, like retirement. As for the wives, we can think about that another day. We've got the rest of our lives to figure that out. Right now I just want to lay here and listen to your heartbeat, nothing else." I say and he smiles and nods, rolling onto his side and I pull him tightly in my arms.

Anytime I was ever upset or feeling down, John always held me and comforted me and it was specifically the sound of _his_ heartbeat that calmed me down. Now I get to listen to it all day and every night. This is going to be a big transition and a crazy step in my life, but he's worth it. He's always been worth it.


End file.
